Alia DIY

• 2-4 oz cream cheese
• 4 soft taco style corn tortillas
• 2-4 oz (1/4-1/2 cup) mixed shredded cheese
• 1 large egg
• 1 strip of bacon (I used precooked bacon)
  
• 1 small sausage link of your choice
  
• butter (to scramble your egg in)
  
• enough vegetable oil to cover the bottom of a small pan
• a small pan
• fork, butterknife, knife sharp enough to cut thru sausage with.
• small bowl and plate
  
• lots of paper towels

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVHdqmN7-XE

I saw this on youtube last night, and I was utterly perplexed. Here in Richmond Virginia, there may be a couple girls like that who I wrote off as f*cking creepy, but this is mostly a new concept to me. If it's new to you too, 
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chonga 

Forgive me for being low on dressup resources, but the initial test was conducted around 5am. Don't fret, I know what I'm going to be for Halloween.


EY boi you kno i'm ur type.

I decided to post something I'm knowledgeable about, so here are my tips on how to be a good party girl. Or boy. These are written by a girl so thus are more catered to girls, but they apply to boys too. Don't feel left out, dudes. Surriusly.

Do you like X-Files? I know I do.
This morning as I was blowdrying my crowning glory, I decided I wanted my delicious strawberry blonde coiffure to look like Agent Dana Scully's, from X-File fame.


How do I achieve that fantastic volume with hair as straight and limp as mine?
Easy.

Products I suggest using:
"Turn Up the VOLUME" spray in volumizer (wonder-product I found at Sally's Beauty Supply)
Sunsilk Anti-Flat Volumizing Creme also works, but isn't quite as effective.
ION "color defense" extra control shaping hair spray (also purchased at Sally's)
1.5" velcro curlers from the dollar store

Method:
towel dry your hair, apply volumizer strategically to your roots paying close attention to your part and hairline, then brush. 
get out your blowdryer. dry your bangs *assuming you have bangs* for about 10-15 seconds, then bend over and blowdry the back of your head. tilt to the left and right accordingly to get an equal amount of lift from each side. come back up, brush, dry what's left, then brush again.
grab the front hunk of your hair and gingerly curl it onto a big roller. pull it tight, and the roller should stay on. do the same on the opposite side of your part, give it a little tiny spritz of hairspray to show it whose boss, and relax.
it should look something like this:

if you just removed your facial cleanser and your left contact lens is burning, then it'll look exactly like this.

go ahead and put your makeup on, finish your hygiene routine, and put your shirt on.
after a good 20 minutes has passed, you are now free to go back into the bathroom and take the curlers out.
WHOA WHAT IS THIS HOT MESS?

sshhhh.. it's okay. that's supposed to happen.
just grab your hairbrush and your hairspray and calm down. brush it into place then spray it. if you're a little lost or need some extra help, run your finger along the curve created by the curler. if you left it in long enough, and the gods are smiling on you, it should work. now go ahead and mist your whole head in hairspray. MIST IT though, you don't want rock hard hair. that's gross.
as vague as these directions are, your hair should turn out something like this:

hey. that's pretty cute. now if only your face looked as good as your hair.
and that shirt is lame.

did it go wrong?
wash it out.

for a slightly more curly Dana, just stick a few more curlers in your hair when you put them in the front.